[Jorma:] Ladies and Gentleman, the Mayor of New York.


Good morning. It's been brought to my attention that many rap artist claim that they run New York, but this is not the case.

In fact, I wrote my own song about what it's really like.

Please excuse the profanity in advance.

Hit it.


[Hook: Billie Joe Armstrong]

New York, big city of dreams, and you know that I run this town. (I RUN IT!)

The king of the streets, dressed in concrete, skyscrapers on my crown! (I'm THE KING!)

So if you want this Big Apple, come try to take a bite! (C'MON!)

'Cause I run this motherfucking city and I won't give it up without a fight!

[Verse 1: Andy]

Yo, I run New York!

It's a pain in the ass!

The city's crowded as fuck,

And it's covered in trash!

And the sanitation chief just shoved his shit in my face;

Another transit strike? Aw, fucking great!

I can't wait

To have another meeting with the labor union

So the mob can bend me over

And then shove their fucking shoe in.

So I do it

So you can sip your pumpkin latté.

I literally run New York and it's exhausting!

[Hook: Billie Joe Armstrong:]

I run New York

It's a fucking headache

It really wears you down! (IT SUCKS!)

In this lake of bureaucratic bullshit,

It's a miracle I don't drown!

[Verse 2; Andy]

I (double) literally run New York:

I run the marathon.

Plus I organized it,

So I double-run the marathon!

But no one seems to give a fuck that I'm a paragon.

Instead they photoshop me so

It's looking like I wear a thong,

And laugh at it in my own office when I'm gone.

I went to the Knicks game, and

They booed me on the jumbotron!

Excuse me

For trying to help you;

They won't be satisfied until I'm

Locked up in Bellevue.

I guess they don't tell you

This job sucks dick.

I run New York and it feels like SHIT!

[Hook: Billie Joe Armstrong]

The Chief of Police is a major bully,

He laughs at my ideas. (HE'S A JERK!)

He made fun of my tie last week

And I had to fight back tears!

[Verse 3: Andy]

Now on the surface, it probably seems like I should quit

Cause I spend every day getting punched in the dick.

But at night

I travel down into the subway,

Wearing chainmail, locked and loaded for gunplay,

And battle the gigantic fire-breathing mutant rats!

If I fucking quit, who the fuck would do that?!

I'll give you a hint:

The answer is no one.

That's why I'm in the sewer dressed up like a shogun.

Because on the equinox, a Hell Gate springs,

Releasing hounds wreathed in the blood of kings.

And no one even knows!

They just think I'm a dork.

But I still kill those fucking dogs, because


[Hook: Billie Joe Armstrong]

I run New York, it's a shitty gig;

There's no overtime in my pay. (BULLSHIT!)

I asked this city for a fucking bonus,

And they said "no fucking way!" (UNREAL!)

So rotten is this Big Apple,

It's crawling with worms inside! (COME ON!)

But I run this motherfucking shithole city,

And it makes me wanna die!


Thank you.

The Lonely Island, Billie Joe Armstrong - I Run NY - lyrics

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